In the realm of love and relationships, the landscape is as diverse as the people who inhabit it. Within this spectrum exists a community that has garnered attention in recent years: the divester community. Some dismiss this community as the Black female equivalent of passport bros. However, this article will look at the community with more nuance as we delve into the subset of Black women who have chosen to abstain from dating Black men. This choice, often a result of personal experiences and societal influences, highlights a complex interplay of identity, empowerment, and autonomy.
What is a “divester”?
It’s not far from the original business definition. In this case, it is someone who is “ridding oneself of something that one no longer wants or requires” — namely a Black woman who is ridding herself of the idea of dating or marrying Black men. More specifically, the idea encapsulates the essence of divestment from relationships with Black men while emphasizing solidarity among Black women. It’s essential to approach this topic with sensitivity, acknowledging that individual experiences within the divester community vary widely. However, overarching themes emerge when examining the reasons behind this choice.
Why do some Black women divest?
Historical context
Historical context provides a backdrop for understanding the complexities of relationships between Black women and men. Centuries of systemic oppression, including slavery, segregation, and ongoing racial injustice, have shaped intergender dynamics within the Black community. For some Black women, experiences of mistreatment or marginalization within relationships with Black men may influence their decision to explore alternatives.
The media
Furthermore, media portrayals and societal stereotypes often perpetuate harmful narratives about Black masculinity, femininity, and beauty standards. These depictions can create unrealistic expectations and contribute to internalized biases, impacting how Black individuals perceive themselves and each other. The divester community, in part, challenges these norms by reclaiming agency over their dating preferences.
Social and cultural factors
Additionally, other aspects play a crucial role in understanding the diversity of experiences within the divester community. Factors such as socioeconomic status and cultural background intersect with race and gender, shaping individuals’ perspectives and choices. While the focus here is on Black women who opt not to date Black men, it’s essential to recognize that this decision is not universal among all Black women, nor does it define their identities.
Self-determination in dating, romance and marriage
Empowerment lies at the core of the divester movement, as women assert their right to self-determination in matters of love and romance. By rejecting societal expectations and forging their paths, divesters challenge the notion that romantic fulfillment must conform to predefined norms. Instead, they prioritize authenticity, mutual respect, and emotional well-being in their relationships, irrespective of race or ethnicity.
Critiques and responses of the divester community
Critics of the divester community may misconstrue its message as divisive or anti-Black. However, it’s crucial to understand that the movement’s aim is not to denigrate Black men but to center Black women’s voices and experiences. In advocating for autonomy in dating, divesters seek to dismantle oppressive structures that constrain their agency and perpetuate harmful dynamics.
Moreover, the divester community fosters solidarity and support among its members, creating spaces for dialogue, healing, and personal growth. Through shared experiences and mutual understanding, women within this community find validation and empowerment in their choices, reaffirming the importance of sisterhood in navigating complex social landscapes.
Divesting as a Dating Option for Black Women
The divester community embodies a powerful testament to self-determination and empowerment among Black women who choose not to date Black men. By divesting from these prescribed narratives, these women are not only challenging entrenched stereotypes but are also forging new pathways for personal autonomy and emotional fulfillment. Through their example, these women inspire others to embrace their strength and redefine the essence of love on their own terms.
This story was created using AI technology.
16 Responses
I’m not a divestor myself, but a good reason why many black women are choosing to divest from black men is because of black men’s lack of empathy/humanity towards dark skin black women compared to say white, mixed, biracial women or just lighter people as a whole.
Black men are possible the only community of men in the world who prioritize the people outside their community rather than within.
Thanks to their role in upholding white supremacy and helping other racist people disrespect black women through mediums like reality tv, music,”passport bros” and national sports etc. – the younger generation of black women are starting to want nothing to do with them.
Some are even purposefully abstaining from having kids with black men, because they know they’re going to set those kids up with a poor future and father if they choose to be with them.
*Note that when I say “Black Women” here I’m really only referring to visibly dark skin women, as those are the only people I consider to be real black women, as one myself
It’s the same old lowdown, vicious, racist propaganda to to normalize the deviant sexual lust of white men. The do this every 10-15 years. They are resentful that black men have the most beautiful women in the world and they are envious of it. KEEP LUSTING IT WONT WORK.
*OR
Maybe it has nothing to do with white men, and you guys just suck at defending “your people”? – if you even consider them “your people” in the first place.
I mean, really, look how hard white men fought to make themselves and white women the default in society – and then look at how you sorry saps of black men just sat there and let them bulldoze right on over us and disrespect us as black women.
Hell, you even joined them! You helped them prop up colorist rappers and black men in the media who talk shit about dark skin women 24/7, and you popularized lunatics like Kevin Samuels – but now you’re acting as if white men are solely to blame? Give me a break.
No dude, you led the charge!
White people may have exacerbated the hatred in the world aimed at black women, but they’re not responsible for the fact that black men seem possess no humanity or empathy towards dark skin women in the first place.
You guys don’t “love” darkskin black women. You’re constantly insulting them and trying to “replace them” and “swap them out” in your own community for mixed women, white women and “light skin” women using the “one drop rule”.
You guys never fought for or defended real black dark skin women – you only “care about them” to the extent that you can use them as a tool or prop in whatever bullshit agenda you guys have.
When black men say “nice things” about black women. NOTICE HOW THEY ARE NEVER TALKING ABOUT REAL DARK SKIN WOMEN. They’re only saying this stuff about the mixed women, biracial women, light skin women as if could EVER legitimately “be” “black women” in our place.
These same light skin women and men who you guy as black men choose to put before darkskin women, your children, and this community – and that is why your statement is bullshit and your full of lies.
You can’t keep blaming the white people for your own personal failure to your community – it was your job to be there for the women and children who look like you and black men as a collective have failed them at every level.
So, take your bullshit propaganda claims and shove it up your ass because you have no one else to blame for the reason that dark skin women HATE black men as a collective – but yourself.
Dumb 💩💩💩💩💩! BW have never been loyal to BM or the race!! We have always had handkerchief mammas among us and that’s what divestors are .self hating, low self esteem, BM hating feminist!! BM don’t owe BW nothing and certainly don’t owe BW a soft landing!! Drizzle drizzle
Yeah, sure tell yourself that. You’re just sad, obnoxious, man-child raging and projecting your hatred towards women of your complexion.
But notice how black women aren’t the ones trying to make white men, biracial men, and mixed men the new definition of a “black man” in the media/entertainment? Like black men are doing to them with these “light skin women” in entertainment.
The “divestor” movement hasn’t even existed for that long, and it’s a KNOWN FACT that black men are the ones marrying outside the race at 2x the rate that black women are – even MLK was cheating on his black wife with a white woman during the civil rights movement.
You guys were fighting from the dawn of time and even during slavery to get your “snow bunnies” – even if they were the same people cracking that whip against you.
It’s scary really, because all the character attacks and “not being loyal” accusations that you make about dark skin women are actually what black men are doing to them, not the other way around.
IT”S YOU GUYS, who hate darkskin women of your own complexion,
IT”S YOU GUYS, have no empathy for the struggle or the emotions that dark skin women go through
IT”S YOU GUYS, were NEVER loyal to dark skin women, and I truly believe…
IT”S YOU GUYS, who hate yourselves – your blackness, your nature, whatever – it’s not my problem.
And then, it’s like the minute darkskin women rightful abandon your asses because we’ve had enough of the mistreatment and objectification coming from you – you want to play DARVO and pretend as if we’re the abusers and you’re the victim like we never supported you guys’ as black men.
When in reality, we’ve ALWAYS SUPPORTED YOU – even when you humiliated us and didn’t support us in return.
WE’VE SUPPORTED YOU TO OUR DETRIMENT, and you’ve NEVER reciprocated the effort.
All the “divestor” movement means is that we are not going to put you first anymore – you’re a poor investment to ourselves as black women, and this community and we’re not going to get anything out of continuing to support you.
Kick and Scream “Feminism” all you want – but this is more about dark skin women’s well-being than anything else. And if you actually cared about them, you would want darkskin women to take this step for themselves and not stay miserable in your presence.
BLACK MEN are a detriment to BLACK WOMEN’s well-being and this community, not an asset.
And so sadly, for black women to truly take care of themselves, we’re just choosing to let you guys’ as black men go – especially since you never give back and just become an energy drain on us.
I am a biracial man . I have been with my beautiful dark skin wife for 42 years . And she gets more beautiful by the day.
You hit it right on the head . You are 100% accurate thank you . Woman King
Hilarious!
You may personally find what I said to be amusing – but I what I said about black men’s mistreatment of dark skin black women and disrespect towards them was serious and deserves respect as such.
Just because you laugh, doesn’t make it a joke.
Dark skin black women’s respect, humanity, and wellbeing is not joke, even if you personally choose to treat it as such and be a jerk.
You’re not addressing this very serious matter appropriately, and dark skin women don’t own ANYTHING to people who can’t even reciprocate the most basic level of human respect for them.
Race First
It had everything to with the normalized hate of black Americans by black Americans. Example: Michael Jackson- the most famous black man in modern America wanted children but not by a black woman . He claimed to have a shin condition – I Have bridge to sale you. American taught blacks to hate themselves and it continues to wrong
Your mama is black and if she told you the truth of how she feels about your choices. You would feel like major asshole. Black women tell your son’s the truth.
There is no writer associated with this article and it says AI was used to write the article. As a reader we need to know who the writer is so that we have context on who, what, why the article was written. Is this article designed to sow division with the black community! Why isn’t there an article about white women dating black men and not white men?
Please shut up – I’m saying this as a darkskin black woman (because I truly assume you’re not)
Usually, the only people who mislabel these types of conversations as “divisive” (I HATE that word btw) are certain women in this community who benefit from colorism as well as other defectors to the status quo (as in white supremacy)
It’s time that we have this real and honest discussion because it’s SOOO unfair that dark skin women have to be silenced or otherwise coerced to lie about, limit or deny their own experiences to others, just to acquiesce to certain people’s feelings.
Me and other darkskin women being honest about our experiences in how others mistreat us – whether that be, white men, white women, light skin women, black men, etc. – is NEVER divisive, it’s just us being authentic and expressing ourselves.
It’s only “divisive” to YOU because you personally don’t like what we’re saying, and the truth makes you feel uncomfortable/excluded (even when you’re not)
I literally get physically sick whenever I hear someone jump into these conversations and try to dismiss everything there as being “divisive” because what that tells as a darkskin women is that you are not an ally – because and ally wouldn’t be trying to control my story or what I get to say about my own experiences.
It’s never your place to label our experiences as “divisive” in our own space.
The sisterhood is gross! They have high PH levels and the honestly smell really bad. They actually don’t wash their hair either. Most have very unhygienic and unhealthy apartments. Many African American men are in support of divesting. If you notice, African American women attempt to manipulate men into liking them. If a white guy simply isn’t attracted to her, he is a racist. If a white guy attempts to hold her accountable he is a racist. If a white guy doesn’t raise taxes to pay for her horrible college major, he is part of the patriarchy. If a white guy doesn’t want to be a stepdad to her prison bound kids. He is a racist. Hispanic and Asian men are not interested but I really wish they would be. Look at this wonderful prize you will have. Good luck fellas 🍀🍀
Your self hate and character assassination of black women is on full display.
If anything, black women are more hygienic than other races of women – we have to be because of people like you trying to label our natural bodies “dirty” and “unkempt” just for being brown (it’s giving hygiene olympics)
Your self-hatred and lack of attraction to women who look like you is not their fault – it’s something that’s wrong with you personally to the point where its a global embarrassment on our race and everyone can see.
Yet, you keep blaming black women as if they have the power to control your sexuality and behavior – when that’s all you bro
The sisterhood is gross! They have high PH levels and they honestly smell really bad. They actually don’t wash their hair either. Most have very unhygienic and unhealthy apartments. Many African American men are in support of divesting. If you notice, African American women attempt to manipulate men into liking them. If a white guy simply isn’t attracted to her, he is a racist. If a white guy attempts to hold her accountable he is a racist. If a white guy doesn’t raise taxes to pay for her horrible college major, he is part of the patriarchy. If a white guy doesn’t want to be a stepdad to her prison bound kids. He is a racist. Hispanic and Asian men are not interested but I really wish they would be. Look at this wonderful prize you will have. Good luck fellas 🍀🍀